How on earth am supposed to try to keep a record of what I’m thinking spiritually if I

(a) never keep a record, and
(b) never think spiritually?*

My spiritual life in the last few weeks. Let me think… I meet once a week with two friends from church to share and pray. I don’t know if prayer makes a difference, but at least it does give me an opportunity to pray. Let’s face it, it’s just about the only time I do, so thanks guys for giving me that space. And how often have I picked up the bible to read it since mentioning it here a couple of months ago. Ahem. I haven’t.

So, there’s a good positive update for you.

* After I wrote this I realised I'm not entirely sure what I mean by "thinking spiritually". Perhaps I'll work it out one day.

More time-soakers

My list of books to read continues to grow. I've now finished a couple from my earlier list, but more have appeared in the meantime. And right now they're all taking a back seat to the newest Harry Potter, which I'm about half way through.

I'd probably have found time to read a lot more (and, hey, maybe even pray once a while) if I hadn't discovered Flickr. And I thought facebook soaked up a lot of time! Last night I was browsing through people's photos before going to bed, occasionally commenting on them, and annotating some of my own and suddenly four hours had passed. FOUR HOURS.

The Bible: part two

I'm drawn to what Andy Goodliff says here. It allows me to feel (slightly) less guilty about one aspect of my relationship with the Bible.

Thank you, Andy.

Communion

Communion this morning. In his introduction, our minister said - as always - that the communion table was open to "all who know and love Jesus", and for a wee while I found myself wondering whether I qualified. Never really thought about that before. I've been trying to learn to "know and love Jesus" since I became a Christian way back in 1984; but have I ever really got anywhere? God knows. Well, I presume he does.

My pondering this morning didn't last too long, though, as Dave went on to use his usual "words of invitation":

Come to this table, not because you must but because you may,
not because you are strong, but because you are weak.
Come, not because any goodness of your own gives you a right to come,
but because you need mercy and help.
Come, because you love the Lord a little and would like to love him more.
Come, because he loved you and gave himself for you.
Come and meet the risen Christ, for we are his Body.

The key words that reassured me were these: "come because you love the Lord a little, and would like to love him more". Yeah, I think I qualify. Just.

Still, it's got me thinking. (I wonder how long that will last?)

Late nights

Well, the original thought behind this blog hasn't come to much so far: to record prayers and answers. Partly because it's difficult to record specifics without compromising the privacy of those I allegedly pray for, and partly because, let's face it, there ain't much going on in the way of prayer. And I'm not convinced I believe in answers either.

Yet again I'm sitting up far too late on my own while Rachael and Ainsworth are tucked up in bed - but am I doing anything worthwhile? Let's think. I did a bit of ironing. I watched Jonathan Ross on the telly. I had a cup of tea. But mostly, the night has been spent - yet again - aimlessly browsing the internet. Some of my internet browsing is productive and educational (such as the excellent blog written by an anonymous fellow magistrate), but I have to recognise that much of it is just filling in time when I could be doing something at least vaguely useful. Hey, I could even read some of that Bible I was on about before, or even any of the other books I mentioned. (Having said that I have now started yet another book!) But no, someone recently introduced me to facebook, which has has soaked up far too many hours.

The Bible

Alli wrote: "Are you going to get through the Bible?"

Get through it? Sometimes, Alli, I can barely find it. ;o)

But, seriously: why do I want to read it? I have, after all, read it before. More than once in my life I've made it all the way through. One time, in a year: the other times (I think there have been three altogether) much, much more slowly. But reading it through is surely not the point.

No, what I'd like to do is to learn from it. For it to inspire me. Mostly, to meet with God.

In chatting to two quite different people about how little I feel I know God, their advice has been the same:

• How do we know about God? By learning about Jesus.
• How do we know about Jesus? By reading the bible.

Once upon a time I read my bible because I wanted to. I can't ever say, as my minister does, that I was passionate about it, but I did read it and want to know more. Where has that gone?

Books

The Cloudspotter’s Guide, by Gavin Pretor-Pinney
How to Talk to Anyone, by Leil Lowndes
The Case for Faith, by Lee Strobel
Roadcraft: the Police Driver’s Manual
Is God to Blame?, by Gregory Boyd
The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems, by Tracy Hogg
The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail, by Baigent, Lee and Lincoln
From Birth to Five from the NHS.

Who can guess what this mixed bag of books has in common? I knew I had several books unfinished, but when I actually took the time to sort out the pile by my bedside even I was surprised to find this many. Several of them I'm more than half-way through. Some have lain untouched for months. A couple are barely started. There there are a good few more around the house that are as yet unopened. Oh, and with a ten-week-old baby in the house Saturday's Guardian now takes me all week to get through.

My point? When the heck am I supposed to find time to read the Bible?